Thanksgiving is one of the most important holidays in The United States. At this day friends and family will gather, thanking for whatever they grateful about, have a feast that traditionally consists of turkey meat, raspberries sauce, cornbread, green beans casserole, different kinds of pies, etc. This tradition is kinda new for me. When I was in China, my husband and I would just go to a restaurant and buy a thanksgiving dinner meal. But since we moved to America, we celebrate it with my husband’s family.
Sorry, no pictures 😞
To be honest, I felt so depressed all day. I woke up in the middle of the night and cried. I felt stomach irritation because of my pain killers, I felt frustrated because this crazy pain circle has no ending. I woke up this morning still feeling depressed. I went to Walmart with my husband, I felt mad at him because he went to McDonald’s and bought breakfast and didn’t asked me whether I want breakfast or not, I felt being ignored. I felt depressed even more.
Otw to thanksgiving lunch, I told him that I think my birth control pills made me feel depressed. He said, “you already depressed and unhappy even before you started your birth control pills”. Which is true, I don’t deny it, but I think the BC makes it even worse. He said, “It will be good for you to learn how to drive and start to find a job, you’ll meet people and won’t feel depressed.” This sentence stabbed me on my open wound. If I didn’t have pain that crippled me in the first place, of course I will get a job. I have a Bachelors degree for God sake! He might not realize it when he said it, but what he said hurt me so much 😭 I’m crying while writing this…
Nobody wants to live like this!
It’s hard enough for me being unable to go anywhere by myself, unable to walk around by myself, unable to take bus everywhere I want, to go groceries store anytime I want. Don’t make a statement that sounds like I don’t have a job because I don’t want to. Would an employer hire someone that unable to work 2-5 days a month because of crippling pain?
I’m so hurt.
The next day update:
I feel better today, not emotional at all.
My husband brought me dinner last night after he visited his friend for thanksgiving. Well, he is a good husband after all. It just sometimes men do not think twice before they talk and women who has excess estrogen have a high sensitivity 😁
Now I could laugh about what happened yesterday 😜