UnHappy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one of the most important holidays in The United States. At this day friends and family will gather, thanking for whatever they grateful about, have a feast that traditionally consists of turkey meat, raspberries sauce, cornbread, green beans casserole, different kinds of pies, etc. This tradition is kinda new for me. When I was in China, my husband and I would just go to a restaurant and buy a thanksgiving dinner meal. But since we moved to America, we celebrate it with my husband’s family.

Sorry, no pictures 😞

To be honest, I felt so depressed all day. I woke up in the middle of the night and cried. I felt stomach irritation because of my pain killers, I felt frustrated because this crazy pain circle has no ending. I woke up this morning still feeling depressed. I went to Walmart with my husband, I felt mad at him because he went to McDonald’s and bought breakfast and didn’t asked me whether I want breakfast or not, I felt being ignored. I felt depressed even more.

Otw to thanksgiving lunch, I told him that I think my birth control pills made me feel depressed. He said, “you already depressed and unhappy even before you started your birth control pills”. Which is true, I don’t deny it, but I think the BC makes it even worse. He said, “It will be good for you to learn how to drive and start to find a job, you’ll meet people and won’t feel depressed.” This sentence stabbed me on my open wound. If I didn’t have pain that crippled me in the first place, of course I will get a job. I have a Bachelors degree for God sake! He might not realize it when he said it, but what he said hurt me so much 😭 I’m crying while writing this…

Nobody wants to live like this!

It’s hard enough for me being unable to go anywhere by myself, unable to walk around by myself, unable to take bus everywhere I want, to go groceries store anytime I want. Don’t make a statement that sounds like I don’t have a job because I don’t want to. Would an employer hire someone that unable to work 2-5 days a month because of crippling pain?

I’m so hurt.

The next day update:

I feel better today, not emotional at all.

My husband brought me dinner last night after he visited his friend for thanksgiving. Well, he is a good husband after all. It just sometimes men do not think twice before they talk and women who has excess estrogen have a high sensitivity 😁

Now I could laugh about what happened yesterday 😜

Back to Square One

I relapsed. I eat fry food, a little bit cheese here and there, sugary drinks, food additives, too little veggies, too much carbs, too much fish😞 It’s difficult not to eat the restricted food when you’re invited to dinner by family, almost every day. I started to loosen my diet restrictions, stop exercising , not even walking, and 2 months later I’m crying because of severe pain, short menstrual cycle, and feel depressed.

What I’ve done?! 😭😭😭

Hello July!

It’s been 2 months since my last post and these last 2 months have been a crazy month! Let’s catch up a little bit, shall we?

US Visa

I traveled to Shanghai and Guangzhou several times to deal with my US immigrant visa. It was exhausting and very stressful! But the good news is, I got the visa, yay! We will move to the states by the end of this month ^_^

Cats

I rescued a 3 months old kitten at the end of May. He has ringworms all over his body and also ear mites in his ears. I treated his ear mites for 3 weeks, the vet told me he was cleared, but guess what? The mites came back as soon as I stop the medication, LOL. Now I have to do the whole process again… plus he still has ringworms. I have another cat that I rescued 5 years ago. I tried my best to separate those two. I even quarantine the new cat in a separate room, but guess what? My older cat got ear mites from him! Oh God, it’s so frustrating coz my older cat is very cranky and difficult to handle -_-”

Pain

In May-June, I had 32 days cycle, this is a new record. I’m not sure it’s a good or a bad thing. Out of the 32 days, I have 15 pain-free days and 6 days of discomfort. I think it’s the best pain-free record for the last 2 years.

In June-July, I had 27 days cycle. Out of 27 days, I have 12 pain-free days and 3 days of discomfort. The cycle was shortened, I guess it’s because of the moving stress and also I ate eggs and duck a couple times. I also ate goat cheese to check whether I was sensitive to it. The result was I’m a little sensitive to it but not as bad as cow cheese. So I think a little amount of goat cheese, once in awhile will do no harm for me.

I have less rectum pain and sciatic pain. Last month I had no sciatic pain at all, yay! I’m on day 6 of my period right now, so we will see what’s going to happen this month :p

I had stomach irritation these last 3 days because of the painkillers. I always take Diclofenac with Domperidone to help to ease any possible stomach irritation, but apparently, 3-4x50mg diclofenac+domperidone a day for two days was too much for my stomach. I had to take 1 tablespoon of olive oil before I eat and also I only eat rice porridge and soup to help my stomach to heal.

Adeno/Endo Diet

I think this month I didn’t do the Adeno/Endo diet as well as the previous month. I had constipation for about 2 weeks, I’m pretty sure I drank lots of fluids, so I’m not sure what caused it.

Exercise

I barely do yoga but I did lots of walking.

Energy

There are some days that I felt exhausted. The travels really drained my energy, but in general, I think I have pretty good energy level.

Supplements

I’m still taking the same supplements as the previous months.

For Spirulina I take 9x500mg per day, sometimes I take more If I feel discomfort. It’s a good alternative for a painkiller for me but only work for light pain or discomfort. I also take red raspberry leaf tea for any uterus discomfort or light pain.


So far, the diet and supplements really help with the pain. Stress management is still hard for me. I will try my best to do better this month.

Thanks for reading. I wish you all a good health and pain-free days!

Sleepless Night, Thank You Pain!

My period started earlier this month, I think it’s because of too much fish in my diet. It’s down from 27 days cycle on Nov-Dec 2017 and 28 days on Dec 2017- Jan 2018 to 24 days on Jan-Feb 2018. Darn fish! 😡

Pain wise, it’s  about the same as my last period. Until yesterday (Day 10). Well, it’s my own mistake, I ate sambal (Indonesian traditional spicy salsa-like sauce) with my dinner because I barely feel pain all day (cocky!). I had to learn the hard way, again! 😰

I stayed up late to make a big batch of fruits and veggies juice. Around 11:30 PM I felt cramps on my right lower abdomen, I took 1x500mg valerian root capsule (It works as muscle relaxer) I thought it will help to relieve the pain, but I was wrong. When I finished my juice around 00:50 AM, my pain escalated so fast. I had rectum pain (3-4/10), right lower abdomen pain (2-3/10), and lower back pain (2-3/10). Around 1 AM I took Serrapeptase+Nattokinase, it usually helps to relieve the pain that was not that severe, but the thing was it continues for hours, I couldn’t sleep at all. I cried because I felt frustrated, none of my medicine worked. At 3:50 AM I made a coriander+ginger decoction, I felt slightly better around 5 AM. I took diclofenac+pantoprazole around 6 AM. I feel much better one hour later. It’s official, I didn’t sleep at all last night! It’s the first time in my life it happens. 😭

I need to stop doing stupid things that hurt me >_<